Medicine

Isn't medicine supposed to fix problems, not make MORE problems?  I am frustrated with doctors and medicine today.  I have been feeling really sick for about 3 weeks now.  Last week I finally decided enough is enough and have been trying to get in to see my doctor.   After waiting all day Friday for the nurse to call me back with a set appointment (which she couldn't set up for some reason) and then spending most of today on hold I finally got an appointment.  For...wait for it... November 10th.  Hopefully I don't die before then.

1 Year

Warning: Mushy recording of wedding/anniversary stuff

On September 3rd John and I celebrated our first year of marriage.  I was going to post about it right after but decided I wanted to contemplate on the past year a little before I recorded my thoughts/memories.  

The first time I ever laid eyes on John Blair I was 11 years old.  He was in a production of The King and I with my oldest sister.  I thought he was the cutest boy I had ever seen. (And boy was I right!).  I remember going home and keeping a copy of the program by my bed so I could look at his picture so I wouldn't forget what he looked like.  To my surprise and excitement a few months later we both auditioned for The Sound of Music at UFOC.  You may call it divine inspiration or just smart casting on my dad's part, but we were cast as brother and sister.  I remember that summer being one of the best of my life for a few reasons, one being John.  Over the next few years our paths grew apart as we went to middle school and then high school.  I met up with John my freshman year at a SV vs LHS football game and he was just as cute as I had remembered!  Sadly, I later found out that he had a huge crush...on the wrong Ballam girl.  After a few weeks of misery, watching he and my sister flirting up a storm and going on a couple of dates, Ester could see how distraught I was and called things off with him.  Luckily, he then realized that it would be a smart move on his part to go for the younger sister. Always smart right?  Anyway, we hit it off and spent the next two years dating before his mission.  

Skip ahead two years (the two years John was on his mission were full of bad dating mistakes on my part. And a lot of hoping on his part)  When John got home we slowly started things up again and on March 6th, 2010 I decided I would be crazy not to marry the love of my life when he so desperately wanted me to.  

Ok this is what I really wanted to write about.  Our wedding day.  September 3rd, 2010.  Such a beautiful day.  I remember going to bed around 4 am the night before, after going through the temple and decorating the reception center.  I woke up the next morning completely calm.  Complete surprise to me!  I fixed my hair and make up and then waited 20 minutes for my anxious parents to be ready to go.  When we arrived at the temple I saw John sitting there waiting for me with tears in his eyes. I remember thinking "Gosh I hope those are good tears".  Luckily they were and we went our separate ways to change.  As I put on my temple dress I started thinking about how lucky I was to not only be marrying my best friend, but doing so in the house of the Lord where it we had planned to get married 4 years earlier.  I was proud of us for the decisions we made that had led us to that point in our lives.  The little lady helping me dress told me to stand in front of a large mirror before I left the room.  I am so glad she did because that was one of my favorite memories of the day! My dress was simple white satin.  Very different from the ornate, beaded mermaid gown I had chosen as my "wedding dress".  Though as I stood there I was overcome with a confidence I had never felt before or since. I remember feeling beautiful from head to toe.  Not really because of how I looked, but because of the way I saw myself as a person at that second.  I knew that the way I was seeing myself was the way John, and my Heavenly Father saw me.  I wanted to write about this because it is something I need to remember in my life.  The most important people in my life see me as more beautiful and wonderful than I sometimes see myself.  

Anyway, a few minutes later I was escorted down a hall to meet with John.  I remember a sister escort came up to my personal escort and whispered "the groom is meeting with Brother So and So".  The first thing that popped into my head was "Oh no, he's backing out!" Haha!  I was obviously wrong and a few minutes later John met up with me in our own private room.  We had a few minutes alone to talk about how excited we were for the ceremony.  We also had a visit from a family friend who gave us some words of wisdom and encouragement.  Our sealing ceremony was beautiful.  I honestly don't remember much of what was said except when our sealer asked us to try and look at him and not each other. :)  It was so neat to kneel across the alter and watch sweet tears running down John's face.  Once we were sealed we were asked to stand up and hug.  I was so happy I couldn't help but do a little jig in my slippers!  Hugging my family, and my new family was such a great feeling.  We are both blessed to have such supportive parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents who joined us that day.  Aside from John's sister and one of of my best friends/cousins, everyone we wanted to be there was there.  

The reception was perfect.  We wanted a party, not a super formal reception and we got it!  I ate 11 doughnut holes but sadly missed out on the rest of the food we served.  (but I hear it was delish!)  Anyway, perfect day.  John took me to Little America that night before heading to Hawaii in the morning.

Now...to the anniversary.  John surprised me big time!  I asked him to plan everything and he did a great job. I bought him a nice Nixon watch as a gift.  He woke up early with excitement to give me my gifts.  He bought me pearl earrings and a pearl ring.  I was so surprised!  I had mentioned to him a month or so earlier that I was sad because I lost the pair of pearl earrings I wore at our wedding.  He also knew that I am super envious of a pearl ring of my mom's that she let me borrow for our wedding.  He did an excellent job picking out the jewelry and I have worn it every day since! :)  He then drove me to a "secret destination" in SLC.  I had high hopes that we would be going back to Little America and was pleasantly surprised when we pulled up.  We watched a movie in the hotel before going to Applebee's for dinner.  Not super romantic but it sounded delicious to both of us!  We then went back to the hotel and sat in the hot tub with about a million little children splashing around.  Needless to say we didn't stay long.  We finished off the weekend in Bear Lake with my family which was perfect.  I couldn't have asked for a more perfect weekend with a more perfect companion!  I am so blessed that John had the patience to wait for me to make up my mind about marriage.  He is definitely perfect for me and though we have had a tough year, I know we will work everything out and live happily ever after.  I know our feelings for each other can get us through anything!  I am a lucky girl!