Thursday, February 3, 2011

Tech Support

I just read this on my friend Niki Sealy's blog (shoutout!) and couldn't resist posting it on mine! (Though I am making a couple of changes that apply to my husband 1.0 in the "undesirable programs" section) Thanks Niki!

Husband 1.0


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and
Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as
XBOX 6.0,
NFL 5.1 and
Sports Center 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed, Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,

Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applicationsJewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default toGrumpy 
Silence 2.5

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources..)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

We recommend
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7

Good Luck Babe!
Tech Support

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